- Is the first word from the mouth of John the Baptist
- Is the first word from the mouth of the 12 apostles
- Is the first word from the mouth of the 70 disciples
- Is the first word from the mouth of Simon Peter at Pentecost
- Is the same first word spoken publicly from the mouth of Paul?
What if?
You would likely say it is a very important word. Historian J. Edwin Orr noted that the first word of the gospel - the first word spoken by Jesus and the rest - is repent. In scripture as well as in every human interaction with God, repenting has always been step one. It's how messed up humans initiate contact with a holy God.
It's weird that, in our day, repenting has almost vanished from the radar screen.
If we think of repenting at all, we imagine it as some kind of sorrow. Feeling very sorry for the bad things we've involved ourselves in: hurtful words, secret, disgusting thoughts and prejudices, selfish and destructive behaviors. Once we consider them, sorry tears can result. Repenting may bring joy as well as tears, but we associate it most often with feeling sorry about our sin and failure.
The history of repenting involves a Greek word - metanoia. From high school biology, we're familiar with another meta word, metamorphosis. Metamorphosis means to change form and nicely describes the familiar but startling transformation undergone by the wormy, earthbound caterpillar as it becomes the stunning, lighter than air butterfly. Our word metanoia involves dramatic change also: change of mind, change of heart and change of habits. It's a bigger deal even than butterflies.
"Your iniquities have put a barrier between you and your God, causing Him to turn His face away so that He does not hear you."
This Isaiah 59 passage is pretty rough on believers. Did you notice "your God"? It's directed to insiders, not outsiders. It's a reminder that our self-absorption, greed, jealousies, lusting after people, things and experiences that don't belong to us along with bad words, perceptions and prejudices have walled us off from God. No matter how much you want it or claim it, a meaningful, satisfying relationship with God is impossible while a pile of sins sits in the road. Repenting removes it all.
Maybe you were never caught, but the secret sins especially can't be ignored, excused or explained away. They have to be acknowledged for the ugly things they are - in front of God who saw it all and is the most offended party. Was the harsh word spoken yesterday? Maybe the rage, lie or other secret sin was 15 years ago. No matter when it happened, you have to come clean, face it and lay it out before God. Only with this level of cooperation can God do the work of changing your mind, heart and habits.
Because sin is our pattern, repenting has to be our pattern. A friend says it well, "I can stop repenting everyday when I stop sinning everyday."
Repenting is hard work. It's the last thing we want to do. We find it easier to work, serve, sing, give, worship or help the poor. It's even easier to feel sorry, filling a hundred sad hours with regret. But there's no substitute for getting gut-level honest with ourselves and God in genuine repenting.
Jeremiah was right in saying our hearts are deceitfully wicked and unknowable. We shield our inner self by "forgetting" sinful words, actions and thoughts. Accepting the challenge to pray the words of Psalm 139 will cause our inner phoniness and resistance to crumble:
"Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me"
It's a dangerously bold prayer. If you dare pray it God will definitely find the ugliness in you that needs to be exposed. Even if the ugly thing has lain untouched in some secret, inner chamber for a long time, the disinfecting light of Christ's presence will do its job if you let it. Once you see it and confess it, the blood of Christ does it's good work and the barrier is removed. The joy of salvation, knowing you are protected, will return with force and you will be drawn to a God who hears you loud and clear. His presence becomes a growing awareness.
You get dirty each day, so repent each day and real prayer becomes easier. Get over yourself and your heart will find it's true home.
